{I am afraid that the most of times that I started a journal entry here it began with the words: "It's been a long time since my latest..." and… that still remains the same until today.} It might be ridiculous: "I don't have a lot of things to say about the…" but I could give more than the same excuse from the past to justify the right moment.
Basically, I haven't drawn for a long time (yep, those words again…) and I am not replying the messages (but I read them ALL!!! YES!!! I never logged off!), so it seems that I've stopped working on for good. It's not very far away from reality, unfortunately. There is not too much thing happening about drawings lately. I have no clue if it will continue for a while or it just feels like losing my skills momentarily. I am not sure if I am able to draw like before, it's something strange to think about. It's funny because I had a bunch of blocked moments already and it never happened seriously like nowadays. This
farewell never came to my head like a bullet and this time it burnt out! It was sad thing to live with… so, I kept myself away from the pencils and glorious days, because they hurt me a bit. But now, I know something changed in me again.
It's due to a recent fact. I must admit, it was a lack of attention of mine, but I didn't know about the event until the lovely
Dankia left a comment on my
"Frodo and Sam" drawing, talking about that it could be seen published in an article inside a magazine about
The Hobbit movie. Then, I remembered about the
TheOneRing.net FanArt Contest, that I had sent my work months ago. I just forgot about it completely for a long time, so it got me now totally by surprise! I didn't know that MY drawing was part of the chosen ones and it amazed me like never before! It's an
amazing feeling that I couldn't find words to describe!
How could I express my feelings when I saw my name impressed on the page and remembered how much that image means/meant to me? It's unbelievable. No one knows how it moved me when I drew. It's the most special drawing that I ever made, and I talked about this here a lot of times, including the latest journal more than a year ago!
It affected me deeply. I get started to think about how to come back to my old state of mind and to try something, no cares about what, when and how it will be…
Actually, there is a sketch of
Gandalf locked inside my magical box right now, which it was started last year when the movie came out, but I thought that would be a charge larger than my skills could handle. Now I feel that I am not just a bag of garbage and I can do it, yes. I have no idea how it will be done, but I no longer care about the result. I am concerned about the processing. The processing is the progress of something very special. The progress is my inner force coming back to its home, which NOBODY can take from me.
Remember people, there is something inside yourselves that nobody can steal from you. It's not about status; it's not about things you have or who are by your side. It's about
YOU. You have a name, an id, a mind, a great source of power and magic for your own using. Don't let people take this feeling from your heart!
I must share the link where I posted the pictures that
Dankia sent to me. (Thank you so, so much for this, girl. You have no idea how it changed a side of me!
)
It's my own
Facebook Profile 'Esteljf', where you can find some of my drawings (all of them is here on dA), but you may subscribe me if you wish.
Frodo and Sam – TheOneRing.net Magazine Collector's Edition.
I assume the most of LOTR fans knows this community
{TheOneRing.net} from a long time, since it's the biggest and best source of information about JRR Tolkien and related things around the world! It's a wonderful pleasure to be part of this tribute edition to the fans and how it worked out. The movie
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a great beginning as the prequel to LOTR. And I wish I could say more about how I loved the riddles in the dark (Sméagol
) and the whole thing, but I think this journal has begun growing up more than I supposed at first.
I say goodbye for now. But I hope my hiatus will not last so much. I might keep posting news about the possible next drawings on my Facebook. So, take a look at my profile/page whenever you wish. It would be a pleasure.
Have a good day. Be nice. And rock on!!!
Josi.