Hello guys and girls, it's been a while since my last post here...
There is not much to say about my last months, it's clearly that I haven't drawn for now, and that's why nothing came out lately. The reason is obvious and it's the first excuse: I don't have time enough to think about drawing, and I am also feeling a lack of inspiration, mostly because of the rush. I could even say that sometimes I just feel I am not myself anymore. It's weird, but it happens when you can't dedicate such a time on your own things, like music, drawings, or anything that you like besides your compromises. I don't know if it already happened to you, but most of times I wonder "why am I doing this? why can't I concentrate my feelings on a drawing anymore? Why did I change myself so much?", but in the end, it's okay. You just withdraw a bit and let it go.
The good news are: due to these feelings, I got a feeling like "I need to deliberate this as soon as possible!", it means: I will draw something about my current situation because I need to escape. I really do. Sometimes I just can't express what I am feeling through words, so I need to draw it so bad.
You might wonder what has been driving me "crazy" since a few weeks ago I was saying that everything was totally okay, but the problem is not concerned about EVERYTHING in my life, so there are many good things happening still, and it must be count.
I just can't get myself close to people who have that horrible behavior like false superiority. I just HATE people who want to fuck you in front of others just because they have a personal problem with you and it has nothing to do with the professional level. People like that are empty, stupid, rough, and it just shows how fragile they are. Why do they have to be so mean?
It makes me sick and tired... I even spend sometime pondering what's wrong with me because I should not feel this way... and I did nothing wrong AT ALL, but yeah.. after some thinking I came with the possible answer for it: I may have something really good in me, and they just can't get it. It's a good thing after all. (:
Well, you may expect something sooner or later from me... I'm gonna do a drawing about it or not (because I may decide that it doesn't deserve my attention too), but I will be back. I promise. And I am sorry if I haven't been replying anyone since January, it's because I feel a bit ashamed of not being active with drawings... I know it's stupid, but forgive me.
(I am just happy that Lacrimosa will release a new CD on May!
It's funny how it happens always when I need to listen something from Tilo!
Tilo, ich liebe dich!